8th Dec, ure crawling up so creepily up my spine

Peace B Upon U

Ahha

So after a long period of staying away from blogging, I've returned! now I can press "!!!!!!" as much as I want since my past keyboard was retarded . hhiehieehiehiehh . Anyway, I have now encountered of discoveries of things that like! It's always hard for people to get me a gift since Im not sure of what I really fond on, well it's not my fault they are widely varied -____-". SO, things I like is generally adorable, weird, unique, and basically extratratratraordinary. For example, I like elephants in any forms, but I don't fond on the real thing so much but I do love elephants. hieh hieh hieh .

Next! I also like astonishing body movements, basically dancing and self defencing but it can also state me in a statulised mode to observe how things are done and how they are done. It's like art, but the canvas is the world and they get more beautiful as grey matter bertambah. :D .

Moving on! Types of music that i like. But before that I'd like to say that I never listen to lyrics as they are too incomprehendable to me so I look for musics that has that gradient contra goin on with the keys and chords and also classical instruments such as jumping drumbeats, and melancholic cello, bass, piano and violins. But now Im into the indie stuff and hip hop RnB cus they are all equally good musics, AGREED! I especially like BigBang now, melodies and lyrics of theirs just get to me, making sure I get real good sleep or keeping me up on boring subject hihihi

Next best thing to BigBang's musics are the members of BigBang wooohooo! You got G Dragon the Leader, T.O.P the rapper, and three other great performers aswell, Taeyang, Seung Ri and Dae sung! They are all incredibly awesome in a non-corny way. ehe . Gives me such great role-models that potray hardwork and teamwork. Super great seriusly, I consider them one of the best :D
For hobbies and keeping fit actions, I gotta say I pick basketball, football and lion dancing in my top three, but Im also open to other things too, just waiting for the perfect time to do all of em . I plan to acquire afew knowledge and skills so I can get acquainted with changes Im about to endure. Im about to be alone, bcus let's face it, np matter how much u hang to high school friends and wish that things would never change, it never goes your way. But change is good. Makes things better, amongst other things so eventhough we change, I still want us to be there or support each other from wherever we are. Enough crapping though, I'll update soon, and as Barney Stinson says it, " Stinson's out!" or in my case, "Jisabaque's out!" ehe

tc tq sua ;D

*see you around

Read Only This 0 yellowSque | keyboarded by Sarah Balqis

New Apple of the Eye

B-B-BigBang oh eh oooh! <33333

Read Only This 0 yellowSque | keyboarded by Sarah Balqis

Counting down the dreadful days

Assalamualaikum, Peace be Upon You.

How many days left and what am I up to with it?! IDK. Yeah I really sound like someone with no future. Mann how idiots like me are today. -___-"

*study
*past years
and study

~~13 [X] 14 [X] 15 [x] 16 [x] 17 [x] 18 [x] 19 [x] 20 [x]~~

~~21 [x] 22 [x] 23 [x] 24 [x] 25 [x] 26 [x] 27 [x] 28 [x]~~

~~29 [x] 30 [x] 31 [x] 01 [x] 02 [x] 03 [x] 04 [x] 05[x]~~

~~06 [x] 07 [x] 08 [x] 09 [x] 10[x] 11 [x] 12 [x] 13 [x]~~

~~14 [x] 15 [x] 16 [x] 17 [x] 18 [x]~~

gud luck Sarah
;[

Read Only This 0 yellowSque | keyboarded by Sarah Balqis

24 season Drumming during Khuan Loke's 7th Anniversary at SJK[c] Sg. Wei [250709]

Assalamualaikum

This was the opening act of the ceremony. Im the one who stands up after the first guy, then my face is blocked up in this feature lol It was fun. This is Khuan Loke's first year to perform 24 season drums from our own team. heee. The road to the anniversary day was joyful, hard, stressful and even more tiring during cleanups afterwards lol. I had fun. This was my 1st year performance at their anni heeehee I also used these beats and audited them for my school to play with. Look around for the other vid; SMKSP Drumming ;] thx

Read Only This 0 yellowSque | keyboarded by Sarah Balqis

Atas permintaan Fatin

Assalamualaikum

Ni Nur Fatin Afiqah. Die Classmate saye nak msuk 2 tahun da. Dia slalu Taun. xle jln sorang sorang. saye pon xtau knape ahahahahahh tp die baik arr, n trademark die "bontot ayam" hahahaah bday die 1 ogos hari tu. Padan muke da tuee hahah I love u kerepot hahaahahaha

enjoyyy

Read Only This 0 yellowSque | keyboarded by Sarah Balqis

SP Drumming 070809

Assalamualaikum

Here's the vid of my final performance as a form 5 student in SMK SP. I thought it sucked since we lack of three drummers due to certain reasons, that's y u can see unoccupied drums at sight. U might aswell join us that time lol These are all students of SMKSP of all ages, form 1,2,3,4 and 5 that I helped trained for a month or so. However, not all were familiar with the beats since half of them were still new at it n had never even perforemed before. So after watching this vid, I think they'd done very well for ppl who were not familiar to this drumming before. Enjoyy :D

P/s I miss the times during training with u guys lol

Read Only This 0 yellowSque | keyboarded by Sarah Balqis

Webcam Vid Of [SFA]

Assalamualaikum

Siblings From Above ;]
I was revising form4 History with Pitpit while Kia was doin her school group work in Giant Mall KJ.
She had some free time in the end so we made a kenangan ;] bengong lol

P/s ILY Pitpit ;] u too Kia
P/ss IM Dears

Read Only This 0 yellowSque | keyboarded by Sarah Balqis

You got me wrong

Assalamualaikum

My dear,
u got me wrong. I do love u but Im happy the way we are. How u care about me. I dont wanna move from this spot because of some obvious reasons, u know ;[ but I like the way we are with each other. Im ok with tha fact that we CAN'T move forward because I'm already comfortable with u here. I dont wanna toy around with ur feelings but I might've given u the wrong idea but I dont wanna lose ur company. I flooded rivers and it instantly stopped my breathing knowing that I might lose u but we can't be anything more than what we were before because of various reasons. U'll go back to the way u were, I know it because this is just a phase that we have to go through to realise certain things in life that is important to ourselves. sigh

You dnt know how I feel, having to go through the nite before thinking through stuff and denying my feelings against my thinking. It's tearin me apart just thinkin abt our situation. Im so sorry dear.

honestly yours,
S Balqis

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Leih Sahng Yaht

Assalamualaikum

Happy Belated Birthday To

Ah Soon[Ekson Soon] Si sohk and Marz[Marzuqi Johari] [15 may]

Happy Belated Birthday To

Don [Donovan Quek Beng Yau] [16 may]

yeah I know ur full names haha

Read Only This 1 Comment | keyboarded by Sarah Balqis

First School Team Nite Performance

Assalamualaikum

Hey there. It's been awhile since my last post lol Ive been very lazy to type anythng in- or significant events. Well I'll just let u in in a few of 'em la haha.

Sunday, 3rd of may was when SMK Sri Permata's Lion Dance Troupe had performed since the silent months. I dragged my members to come out and train together so that we'll b ready but apparently nothing fell according to plan. I was very frustrated with the whole troupe for not giving any cooperation and made me do all the work and worrying. My vice president, who originally created this troupe and now has left me to handle it, wasn't being the help I needed, as usual but now, since after the performance, n over the arguments we had with each other, we're kinda ok now, I think. haha

Training wasn't giving any help for my untrained seniors and juniors, just helped our lion dancers to know their job. The instruments disappointed me too much, while lions, well they had other things to worry about, like to control their coordination so that they wouldn't hit and break any valuable items while dancing. I'm listing down the things that has to b worked on during our training to overcome our errors :

1. symbals must know the beats exactly and always pay attention to the drum.
symbal players also has to play as loud as possible in order for people to actually hear. -_-"

2. gong player, if there is a gong stand with us, always pick it up and place it near the
drum n always stick near to the drum. WTH were u you doing so far from the drum??
Be focusedddd

3. To extra members who've substituted with other players, please be in alert condition and pay attention to what is needed. eg. I needed someone to pull the drum cart.
I can't play n pull at the same time. I only have a pairr of arms. -_____-"

4 We are a team, we help each other

5. This is a performance guys, we're dealling with other people, ppl might not know us at all so we gotta show what we're capable of and put on a good and qualified stuff for showww

6. Dai Tau Fatt, u better be funny and firstly entertain the crowd even before we start the show

7. Finally, listen to me and atleast come for training once in a while. If u can catch up really quickly when I play a beat on the drum, then nevermind, but If you only know outdated basics,
ure in for a disaster for the whole team because it only takes a drop of coffee to ruin a carton of milk [whatever that was]

As I've cleared that out, and as the whole performance was thought as catastrophe for me, the crowd in the end thought it was great since they didn't know what we we're tryna achieve. Well after that, we ate some great food at Damien's place n it was goooood lol thx Damien, we stayed n chat for awhiile at the event, then packed our stuff n got off back to school in a Khuan Loke Lorry driven by our Si Sohk, Ah Haang or lou ye haha and accompanied by Sie Heng Ah Gui. TQ so much everyone.

Overall, I'm glad quite a number of my members joined this first of many other performance :]

p/s pictures aren't located yet lol

Assalamualaikum

Read Only This 0 yellowSque | keyboarded by Sarah Balqis

I confess

Assalamualaikum

Of the damaged that Ive done to the afternoon session's deco. I am mad, angry, upset, dissapointed, frustrated, fed up with myself, my chemistry teacher, homosexual formtwo berani students and everyoneelse. I've never felt this angry, I was literally shivering, almost bursting out of control. Everyone was getting on my nerve but the thing that made me disappoint myself is that I let my anger take flight and I bombed my reputation as an average student into a rude b'tch since I sped out of class off to see my chemistry teacher, threw the PEKA papers on the table to his face. The papers by the way, I had given it to him during class a month ago since I was late to hand it in and mine was the only one. But HE somehow carelessly forgot to take it back to his table and here comes the act of ill-minded-spolied-rich-or not rich-brats who literally tore out a piece of the paper, scribbled on it, lost a few pages and where the paper had been for the past month I DON'T know. I HATE EVEYONE. i EVEN CONTRADICT MY BELIEFS FOR LETTING MYSELF LOSE CONTROL.

This was the only time that I had literally f''ked up ideas in my head on how to destroy that hell hole. I had in mind to put mt hand on the window slides and smashing them down just to ignite fire to the "children" plus destrying school properties. But half of that hell hole is my class hence the 3rd quarter of a massacre. I was angry about other matters aswell. I know only Allah SWT sees everything I've done at any time, but the fact that I got s''t in return for doing nothing, I couldn't stand by doing nothing any longer, not standing my ground.
I have feelings too you know. I have my own thoughts on everything there is. I never stop thinking about things around me, It's just that I don't tell you or whoeverelse. I'ven't had this feeling[utter thirst for avenging] since I was 9 years old. Not to brag but just to say, I did deeds not to impress anyone, it's just that I felt the need to do it from the bottom of my heart. And when I slipped and fell onto the downslide, I'd get the 'treatment'. The 'treatment' that people get when they did something utterly wrong. I try so hard to understand other people's needs, emotions, and condition, never have I gotten anything in return, not that I'm asking for any, I JUST WANT SOMETHING DECENT. I'VE NEVER ASKED FOR MUCH. I just want to be treated fairly and if you think that Im just a teenager who doesn't know what's coming in adulthood, that's because you've no idea of what Ive been through. No one really does, especially about people around them, walking around looking normal but carrying heavy weights on their sbhoulders.

This time, I didn't care. I didn't care that my reputation as an average student would be jepordised because it already has a few times already. I've been up and down this road so many times. I had noone to talk to, that really understood how I felt, they just wanted to find fault of me for doing so. For once, I wanted something. Something that I clearly know about, that I understood in detail. But I never thought that what I wanted was to beat the crap out of little-inmatured-dependent-spoiled-rich-brat students. Not really. I wanted something.. neutral. My life so far had been either up or downwards but I didn't mind because I thought I might get what i really deserve but getting my SPM paper 4 brought back to me of a carelessness act of a teacher of his student's work and the brainless act of pea-brained children, when all I've been to others was not to distrub but to make them peaceful is obviously NOT WHAT ANYONE DESERVE.

I don't care. My family and friends you ask? they're about the same. I don't care. I don't care. I don't care even a little because I cared alot but this is what I got in return. I want my lion dance training. It's the only time Im around people that periodly doesn't hv anything to do wth my other life. I release stress there. I hit the instruments as hard as I can. I improve my physical needs to protect myself. I have people that I can talk to to ease my pain and forget my hatred. Im just afraid my training place would turnout the other way around now since I've been restricted from it, making me sit home doing nothing instead of doing something that realeases stress and obtains peace because let's face it, nothing can get through our mind when we're really upset and down.

TQ for reading.
p/s if any of the students from school are reading, run along and tell the 2b students and tell them as much as their stupid deco's in class matters, my SPM matters more, so you decide.

yours truly,
Balqis

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Lost The Will

Assalamualaikum

I have lost the will to love. For now. Since my last ex was kinda like a simple problem that could not be fixed because we had this language barrier thingy that made us not understandable to each other. For instance, it kept on confusing me[on my side], making me rethink for too many times, and mostly giving me the wrong ideas. It gives a powerfull effect to me because I communicate in my second tongue in a way that I meant every word I say. For instance, some people manipulate english words easily when it's at the tip of our tongue but with him, he speaks chinese for almost all of his lifetime and speaks malay or english in like 5 and 10 percent of it respectively. Well obviously everyone knows how to manipulate words when it comes to the tip of our tongues but in what language?
sigh'
yeah. it's the language barrier. I didn't understand what he meant.

Now, IDK what had happened but i'm pretty sure we're done.

Another thing about this barrier though, it makes it harder for me to guess or anticipate ones feelings or emotions and his characteristics. Obvious points is acknowledgeable but what I look for are the subtle reactions. Not understanding makes me vulnerably clueless of someone. I know what people might say about trying to read other people, it's such a waste of time and it's not gonna get u anywhere cus our readings from our senses are never accurate, u'd end up anticipating the wrong subject.
But I try to read people only to find out what they like or dislike, how they are and what would be appropriate for a situation or even an occasion, so that way I can easily call an audit.

But I didn't have the chance with him. I hardly knew him. I wish I could fix it, but then again, I still wouldn't see any future between us. We're too much of a different type and we don't exactly fit each other's piece. I guess this is one of those puppy love I had before. However, I wish it was different.

Assalamualaikum

Read Only This 0 yellowSque | keyboarded by Sarah Balqis

I called..

Assalamualaikum

him. I know it's so weak but I just miss him, even after all that had happened. Especially after Sir told me about his issues. I just felt like I can't leave him just like that even if I wanted to, even if he doesn't want or need me around. I know. I sound so desperate. But I don't know, maybe I had hopes.. IDK. Anyway, I've already banked in my salary from CNY, which made me think even more about him, like how's he doing and all. Anyway, I called and he answered "what is it?" in cantonese, he sounded tensed, I think he didn't expect me to call, oh well. Then I giggled a little and asked "are u bz?", then he said "yes", then I said "oh, nevermind then" and he hung up. Haih I shouldn't hv called but, yeah well I care. Im only afraid that he would think that I'm being such an annoying unwanted person in his life, but I, IDK. Im still thinking. hmm I'm tired. I have to get two sets of snacks for amira, sab, fatin n qiddo cus I missed last week's turn lol. I'm not sure of what Im suppose to do now, but I m sure that I have to stay focused because I keep on drifting into space all the time, sigh' it's so time-wasting. I mean I should really keep my head straight. I don't wanna fall back to an extent where I might never get to catch up On Time. Hmm .
I appreciate my friends more now then ever, even my family. But I criusly need to catch up on sleeeep haih.

so long

p/s if Don has read this, he probably had some free time after all the running away and crying stuff. ain't that right lou ye? lol haha jk oni la Dawn. Im sho showie hahaha ikur ur language la like that haha

Assalamualaikum

Read Only This 0 yellowSque | keyboarded by Sarah Balqis

Guess Who

Assalamualaikum,
here are some pics of my last day of shows with them.
They apparently didnt like cameras too much. I'm gonna miss'em

some guy IDK his name, Richard wong, L.K. Chun ;]

Kam Beng [birthday boy] 08/02

Chee Seng in the middle, huge dude

second last day of CNY

Yi Hao

Ah Xai, Cheong Seng, Si Sohk'

Si Sohk'

Sing Khee Chan Ting

Bakri n Sultan

one of the lorries

Choeng seng is Chee seng's brother

The cargo

loading cargo, that's my si fu with tha bag, n ther's a guy IDK,
One of the Yap twins, and Ah Bee on the lorry.

Read Only This 0 yellowSque | keyboarded by Sarah Balqis

CNY

Assalamualaikum

As I write this post, I would like to say my deepest regret and I'm now begging for forgiveness from my classmates who are also my bestfriends for thinking wrongly of themselves for trying to wake me up before it's too late to turn back. I had mistaken their subtle act to awaken me from making a mistake as a form of childish threat. However that might be, yeah it sounds nuts. That's why, I'm really sorry for thinking like so and for the other thing that I did on monday. I'm really sorry.

As CNY approaches, I have been having a few more regular trainings than before. From just twice a week to three times a week. trust me, the two days alone are enough to make me miss a bunch of things in my social life. Imagine what three days had done to me. I thought I could handle it but apparently I kept on dozing off in class and coming late everyday to school. I almost got another warning letter from school. I mean it's embarrasing enough that they call out our names in the middle of assembly and then I'd have another thing coming to me with the letters.

However, as much as it has been giving me trouble in the daytime, I find that I get closer to knowing my other team members at the other school. As much negativity comes to me from Sri Permata, Ive been getting positive vibes from Khuan Loke. But it wasn't actually worth it anyway. I liked my original friends better. Meaning, I like girlfriends better than boyfriends. Both equally satisfying, but I would rather keep what I already have and juggle those who'm Ive just got to know since they don't really know me.

Anyway, I got to learn new things during chinese new year and I got to perform at malls, supermarkets, and hypermarkets. Some places I go to seldomly and there are even new places I've never been to like Tropicana Carrefour and some Giant hypermarket in KL. But I gotta say, the only place I hated the most while performing at was Pavillion KL. I wouldn't get into any more detail than this but if u really wanna know, just ask Don, he'd say I like to complain alot. But it was only during that peformance. lol. Plus I got to see my drumming skills improve slightly higher than before and I got to watch other pros play drum and got a few tricks. hehe. One of the things that bummed me out during CNY is that I didn't hv the guts to play lion. I know I suck so just stuck with instruments. Rotating from sumbals, to drums and gongs and back to where I started. but I wouldn't say thatI didnt deserve my salary because I really did work my ass off carrying stuff.

The basics that I have accuired from my previous training were just for instruments such as symbals and drums, and some knowledge on the lion dance moves, but now I've gained slight glances of southern liondance and dragon dance upclose. The southern lion was so cute and wacky while the dragon dance were kinda scary because of it's height and it was as if it was flying. lol. I've got a few blisters mostly on my hands from drumming too hard I guess. lol. I also got cramps from hitting symbals too long. lol.

Besides the injuries I've collected from days of performing with them, I also got new friends and got maybe slightly closer to them. Got alot of talking crap with them and learning a few words in chinese. It was fun and I loved the experience. I realised that I was on my own because I was the eldest muslim there, the other two are still form1 n 2 and I have to look after them like not letting them eat non-halal foods and telling them to go pray. So I learned how to cope with things happening around me. Learn to be open to certain things. Among the happy things that happened to me there, there were a few issues with the elder seniors which led to sacking and catching. It was ugly. I don't want to get into anymore of that. But overall it was a great moment or period for me. I was happy.

Now, I didn't mention that I got closer to my Si Fu, I call him Sir. ooh and I can follow Suren better than before without panicking like before lol. So, I got a new "friend". I call him Mike. But things are very hard to cope with him because of diff. ethnics. haih. But I'm trying to take care of him however I can. :D that's it for now. TQ for reading :D

Assalamualaikum

Read Only This 0 yellowSque | keyboarded by Sarah Balqis

JiSaBaQue

난 똥 조각 이 아니에요

Jimmee-Sarah-Balqis

*the one with the cam

BIGBANG

love elephants ;D

Kontex Paparan

8th Dec, ure crawling up so creepily up my spine

New Apple of the Eye

Counting down the dreadful days

24 season Drumming during Khuan Loke's 7th Anniversary at SJK[c] Sg. Wei [250709]

Atas permintaan Fatin

SP Drumming 070809

Webcam Vid Of [SFA]

You got me wrong

Leih Sahng Yaht

First School Team Nite Performance

I confess

Lost The Will

I called..

Guess Who

CNY

JiSaBaQue

난 똥 조각 이 아니에요

CrunchJee

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